Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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