So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
My bed smells like the plague
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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