Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize
