i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
