I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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