Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
