i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Boobs are out for the taking
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize