3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize