Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
