Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
