hotel room ftw
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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