Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
