i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Randomize