You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize