i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Redeem this text for a blowjob
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
3 2 1 whiskey
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
