When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
