i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
