Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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