I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize