i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
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