I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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