I wannas sexs uuuuu
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
