I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
