i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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