ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
you didnt know i had herpes?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
