At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
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