Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Your dad touched me again.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
