big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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