You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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