how hairy? two words: wookie tits
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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