I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Less talking, more tequila
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
