4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
