this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Randomize
