it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize