did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
