Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
