The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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