1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Randomize
