Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
