took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
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