I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
