So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize