i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
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