then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize
