i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
She is in my trunk
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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