thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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