all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
