Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
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STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
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Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
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