She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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