Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Randomize
