Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
