the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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