Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
